my paean to cracked.com

i love cracked.com, and the best part about the website is their weekly photoshop contests. this week's really took the cake, so check out "10 important news stories as depicted by 5-year olds."

kermit bale!

this is a fucking hilarious website that postulates that kermit and my one true love christian bale are the same person/being

why i don't miss high school as much as i think

so strangely enough i've been hanging out with a couple teenagers lately. i think i can safely say that i met one of the most obnoxious kids i've ever run into in my life last night. he was in over his head in the coolness factor and he would not SHUT UP. he would talk about nothing and say all the most absurd shit like "i'm a different person when i drink" after one beer, and asking me about the "different kinds of drunk" you get. he called asbergers "aspy" (his brother is apparently way aspy). he started listing the drugs that his siblings were on wanting to know if any of them were cool. they were not, like lithium and lamictal and zoloft. are you kidding me? he talked about weed constantly and of course smoking occurred at some point and he was like "i like some weed better than others. there are two kinds, indica and sativa, which kind is this?". i was like "are you fucking kidding me? it's called the lorax and no one asks if the shit they are buying is indica or sativa". i don't know how else to describe the kind of annoying yesman this kid was, except to say that his nickname is fetus, and he tried to make it appear better by saying he spelled it with a ph. regardless, the other kids were cool and it would have been a pretty perfect evening minus that kid. but i'm going to work that into the play production piece in some way, and he could be a good one shot character for the high school teleplay. it makes people a lot more bearable if you think of the obnoxious ones as material.

this came to me from moveon.org today.

"Who is Sarah Palin? Here's some basic background:

She was elected Alaska's governor a little over a year and a half ago. Her previous office was mayor of Wasilla, a small town outside Anchorage. She has no foreign policy experience.1
Palin is strongly anti-choice, opposing abortion even in the case of rape or incest.2
She supported right-wing extremist Pat Buchanan for president in 2000. 3
Palin thinks creationism should be taught in public schools.4
She's doesn't think humans are the cause of climate change.5
She's solidly in line with John McCain's "Big Oil first" energy policy. She's pushed hard for more oil drilling and says renewables won't be ready for years. She also sued the Bush administration for listing polar bears as an endangered species—she was worried it would interfere with more oil drilling in Alaska.6
How closely did John McCain vet this choice? He met Sarah Palin once at a meeting. They spoke a second time, last Sunday, when he called her about being vice-president. Then he offered her the position.7"

the choice is offensive to thinking americans and a transparent play for hillary supporters. there was seriously not a more qualified woman he could find? what a dumbass. he'd die in office and this bitch (and he says obama is inexperienced?) would become president. are you kidding me? plus:
DO YOU REALLY WANT THE OLDEST KID AT WEST BEVERLY HIGH IN THE WHITE HOUSE???

in other, better news, the democratic national convention was great, moved me to tears occasionally because i'm a fucking sucker. i was nationalistic orgasming when michelle obama spoke (i fucking love her), obama's little girls are so damn cute (it's going to be rough on them to grow up in today's media culture) and his speech was freaking great. i'm very excited for november.

nerds and other things i like

this kid is my favorite. he's in a movie called Drakmar: A Vassal's Journey, which it seems is about this kid being a nerdy rpger, which makes me happy. i swear i'll write more in here but i just started school so i've been spending time in class, getting an external hard drive for my film shit, hanging out with one high schooler, and seeing all the kids up at vassar. this is like the only day i get to watch both hours of 90210. ok this bothers me, i really want to like andrea zuckerman but she's just so damn old! gabrielle carteris is 29 at the beginning of the first season. when i make my high school show i'm going to have everyone look and act reasonably high school. speaking of which, in my play production class, we are developing a show to perform for local high schools about relevant issues. i'm in charge of the multimedia shit (film that we'll project behind the actors) and also our section on suicide. i'm looking forward to it. my term is a fucking joke, but a happy one. play production, film editing, acting, doing the play, and voice lessons are my credits for a full term, hooray.

the rocker

i need to record here that, as you know, i am gay for obama, but now i'm also BI FOR BIDEN!
see, it expresses that i'm head over heels for obama, but not committed yet to biden, but i'm willing to explore him. and, of course, it's clever and cheeky. i'm thinking a bumper sticker, to add to my new beauty, "mom@stressedout.com", the dorkiest thing ever to adhere to a vehicle. additionally, i saw the rocker tonight with a younger friend (i feel like a sex criminal every time i hang out with this kid. he's 16 for the record.) and it was a good time. it was a charming movie that didn't fully mature, and didn't fully flesh out characters played by such great comedians as jane lynch, jeff garlin, christina applegate and will arnett. rainn wilson, however, was cast to perfection. every smash he makes on the drums elicits another hilarious facial expression, and i found myself thanking the god of cinema that they didn't cast will ferrell or some other less nuanced comic as the lead. don't get me wrong, will ferrell is frequently appropriate, but the joke is wayyy past its prime as far as his post-pubescent manchild thing goes. why is that such a popular concept in hollywood? anyway the plot required a certain level of suspension of disbelief, especially to someone who knows quite a few aspiring music stars. the most natural thing about it, honestly, was the romance between the bassist (emma stone!) and her real life boyfriend, the tortured lead singer. it made me feel warm and nice inside. anyway time for me to hit the bong and then the sack.
topic for tomorrow: my arguments with chris
(picture lovingly stolen from here)

hilarious name of the week

this is old but it still needs to be posted:

semen poltavsky!
this bitch was born in odessa, soviet union
AND HIS FUCKING NAME IS SEMEN
he was on the russian olympic volleyball team
which lost to us
sorry i have been remiss in my blogging duties
life required a little more living than usual