forgetting sarah marshall, tropic thunder on dvd, and potential cheeky theft!

forgetting sarah marshall was great. charming charming charming, and i hate romantic comedies, but it was more than that, without the requisite cheese at the usual end of a judd apatow film. it made me... miss being in love. like usual. alone at 3 am with a movie and a bong and a beer. even hiro is in the other room, he's had it with this mess. now it's time for the newest addition to my dvd collection: TROPIC THUNDER 2-DISC EXTENDED DIRECTOR'S CUT! did i pay the $35 dollars for this, the dvd release i've been most excited about this year, or did i instead get shut out of best buy by four minutes (the christian assholes who run this country basically want no one to purchase shit on the holy night. i'm a jew i got money to burn let me do with it what i want!/i actually don't have money to burn i made 2 dollars and 50 cents in tips on saturday night but sometimes damn a girl just wants to buy a dvd), and then, leaving my very adorable little dog to await my return in the car, wait for fucking fifteen minutes at the dvd/cd counter of barnes and noble, glaring at the employees, trying to leave the section to purchase the dvd at the normal counter, setting off the little alarm, so staying in the dvd/cd section, waiting, and then removing the plastic packaging with the alarm thingy on it, looking the surveillance camera in the eye, shrugging, and walking out of the store with the dvd in my hand. i may have performed the long series of actions i just outlined, or i may have paid the exorbitant fee of $35 dollars for my prize. it's up to you to decide. while you decide just how responsible or addicted to theft i may be, hiro and i are firing up the old dvd player to showcase that 2008 masterpiece, TROPIC THUNDER!

addendum: damn i forgot how fucking hilarious the fake previews at the beginning of this movie are. this is a freaking comedic masterpiece. i can't wait to see all the best characters, including the whacked out tom cruise in the role of a lifetime, les grossman.

LIVEBLOG! Project Runway

LIVEBLOG MOTHERFUCKERS!
this is what happens when i'm home alone in the dead zone between dinner and drunkenness.
ok that blane guy who is trying to be the christian siriano of this season, with infinitely dumber catchphrases like "girlicious", besides grating on my burnt out nerves, says he tans every other day. i can't wait to see his wrinkly thirty year old ass in four years.
ooo they're designing for the olympics opening ceremony, that's pretty fucking epic
o god stella the leather lady (o sorry, cavegirl) who i actually like looks like the freaking witch of the west today christ wash your face woman
i like how project runway just gets right into it. no bullshit little challenges like america's next top model, they are buying the fabric for their big show today already at 9:07.
ooo kenley, i love her little flower in her hair and her makeup i wish she would be my girlfriend and make cute 40s style clothes for me
k during this commercial break i'm going to shave my legs this bitch is going out on the town tonight!
blane: "i'm continuing to get paler and paler and weaker and weaker"
they're hating on kenley and my gay boyfriend daniel for laughing and having fun, stfu haters!
HEY LADIES next time you go down the rapids of the delaware river without a tube and then fall down the stairs in an attic a day later make sure you are tender with your legs when you shave them.
yo blane just said he doesn't like the beatles, and didn't get tim gunn's ref to sergeant pepper. gross.
hey i had to handle life
i liked a lot of the outfits, terri's was the best, especially surprising because i hate sportswear
but i'm too distracted by the chin combover on the olympian they have guest judging to do anything but scratch my mouth uncontrollably
it's like when some lazy douche who supposedly shaves every day decides we're going to make out on the skip day, and that making out involves more chin contact than i'd thought humanly possible
then i have to tell coworkers i skinned myself falling off a bike
i would show you a picture of the exquisite and complex spiderweb between my bike and it's holding tree, but i'm not home.
lets just say... i can't ride a bike and i don't bother to try.
by the way i like how the brideshead revisited commercial begins with the line "it's the movie intelligent filmgoers have been waiting for all year". yeah i get it there were a lot of comic book movies and i saw them all, but can i say that the only reason i am planning on seeing that tarty confection is that the nancyboy who's starring in it is also playing ozymandias in WATCHMEN, THE MOST ANTICIPATED MOVIE OF MY LIFE EVER. also emma nelson told that kid danny that what she watched on tv was "mostly brideshead revisited on dvd" and if it's good enough for a fictional character on degrassi, by god it's good enough for me.
o no jennifer the sad sack has to go home and daniel my gay boyfriend is staying mwahaha. natalie and sarah and i can't think of anywhere to go out so we may just drink at home. look forward to some random ass blog in the middle of the night.
one more note, i have, in one days time, become one of those obnoxious people who says "i've got to go home and blog about this shit" and i vow to never do it again. hold me accountable! now i'm going to watch shear genius and wait for my friends to tell me what kind of beer to get. i was kind of planning on cutting back on the highly caloric deliciousness of beer when i saw some unpleasant rolls on my stomach last night but i'm not up for a night of brown liquor, which is all we've got at chez my dad. why didn't i buy my ass some vodka at the abc? i know it's unoriginal to have a deep and abiding passion for vodka since chelsea handler, my princess of late night (letterman's my queen, dave you so funny!) but whatevs i love that russian shit! uggggh the summer weight is the worst. time to go back on weight watchers!

(pic of my bf and gf, daniel and kenley, from bravotv.com