forgetting sarah marshall, tropic thunder on dvd, and potential cheeky theft!

forgetting sarah marshall was great. charming charming charming, and i hate romantic comedies, but it was more than that, without the requisite cheese at the usual end of a judd apatow film. it made me... miss being in love. like usual. alone at 3 am with a movie and a bong and a beer. even hiro is in the other room, he's had it with this mess. now it's time for the newest addition to my dvd collection: TROPIC THUNDER 2-DISC EXTENDED DIRECTOR'S CUT! did i pay the $35 dollars for this, the dvd release i've been most excited about this year, or did i instead get shut out of best buy by four minutes (the christian assholes who run this country basically want no one to purchase shit on the holy night. i'm a jew i got money to burn let me do with it what i want!/i actually don't have money to burn i made 2 dollars and 50 cents in tips on saturday night but sometimes damn a girl just wants to buy a dvd), and then, leaving my very adorable little dog to await my return in the car, wait for fucking fifteen minutes at the dvd/cd counter of barnes and noble, glaring at the employees, trying to leave the section to purchase the dvd at the normal counter, setting off the little alarm, so staying in the dvd/cd section, waiting, and then removing the plastic packaging with the alarm thingy on it, looking the surveillance camera in the eye, shrugging, and walking out of the store with the dvd in my hand. i may have performed the long series of actions i just outlined, or i may have paid the exorbitant fee of $35 dollars for my prize. it's up to you to decide. while you decide just how responsible or addicted to theft i may be, hiro and i are firing up the old dvd player to showcase that 2008 masterpiece, TROPIC THUNDER!

addendum: damn i forgot how fucking hilarious the fake previews at the beginning of this movie are. this is a freaking comedic masterpiece. i can't wait to see all the best characters, including the whacked out tom cruise in the role of a lifetime, les grossman.

ROBERT DOWNEY JR IS MY BIG GAY CRUSH OF THE WEEK

ok anyone who has ever met me probably knows that my biggest love on the silver screen is

ROBERT DOWNEY JR.

i was first introduced to his "ness" (my word for essence) in my favorite film of all time (all together now:)

NATURAL BORN KILLERS.

i own three copies of this film, because one time i lost one, and the first version i bought was not the directors cut, which has tommy lee jones' head on a stake outside the prison, and woody harrelson raping the hostage that it's implied he rapes in the r-rated film.

the worst mistake of my life?

that i bought the r-rated version of terror firmer

the first thing that happens in this, my second favorite film, is that some sleazy dude says to the transsexual serial killer "mmm just the kind of king size pussy that i like!" and the bitch tears off his leg as he cries "hey that's my leg!"

in the r-rated version, "pussy" is bleeped, and there is a huge box that says "censored" over the severance of the leg

the rest of the film continues with the director, lloyd kaufman, commenting in the corner

it's safe to say i only last about five minutes with this
I NEED THE X-RATED VERSION!

ok sorry too much vodka to focus on my objective with this post, which is to discuss RDJ, also known as "wayne gale!"

he apparently thought up the idea of that character, host of the sensationalistic show "american psychos" in NBK, would be australian. it makes him very funny, and very sexy, especially as he becomes a willing accomplice in mickey and mallory's murders to escape from prison in the second act of this flawless film.

apparently he was nominated for an oscar for his portrayal of charlie chaplin in the eponymous film

he also charmed my pants off as a fucking crazy druggie in a scanner darkly, which features the coolest animation of any film i've ever seen

by the way, who the fuck borrowed waking life from me? i forgot!

uh oh RDJ back on tv intermission

ooo jay baruchel

o shit justin theroux worked on tropic thunder, as co-writer/producer! that's fucking awesome. he is most famous with me (phrase courtesy of my old southern paw) for being in mulholland drive, david lynch's lesbian mindfuck, as the cuckolded director

anyway i like jay baruchel, he's such a cute jewish hippiepunk stoner.

but RDJ!

he did lots of drugs and that's obviously hot

he's sober now and working hard, which would be less hot if he was
i still need to see iron man, but i won't miss his ass in tropic thunder, that's for sure

I LOVE YOU FOREVER ROBERT DOWNEY JUNIOR! YOU ARE MY BIG GAY CRUSH OF THE WEEK!

(PIC LOVINGLY STOLEN FROM WIKIPEDIA)