fuck you all

ok press gave my part away to someone who, for the purposes of this blog being public to everyone, is fat, ugly, and has a lisp. HAVE FUN WEARING MY SKINTIGHT CATSUIT BITCH! the plan right now is to make her so uncomfortable about taking my part that she'll just back out. who am i kidding, i'm just going to drink enough to try to bone nathan explosion through my tv screen

and try to remind myself that i'm still in the play, and i can still pass my other class. i will get a job at juliet's and things won't totally suck. right?

booth!

this is the funniest post iwatchstuff has ever written, his ideas for the new showtime series about john wilkes booth and his brothers starring kevin bacon.

more presidential paris

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

this is pretty fucking good. it also made me happy because i was watching two and a half men and when charlie showed up at paris' party i had twice the fun of the least talented sheen.

late

a couple hilarious things i learned on slog:
the la president of NOW endorses palin because they are fellow athletes
the ceo of lehman brothers was punched out in the company gym after the company utterly bombed out this week
the sun has been just declared to NOT BE a perfect sphere. duh dumbasses this is real life we're talking about
damn i'm seeing julia louis-dreyfuss on conan, she looks fucking great. i want to be as funny as her and keep my looks as well as she has. plus her show also stars her along wanda sykes
k now i'm watching sesame street. it really is educational for kids with enough jokes for adults. there's a sisyphus bug that pushes a rock up a hill among other things

anyway i've been having the best dreams lately, making waking up difficult. they're pretty fantastical. i'm going to indulge now

being affectionately disrespectful to the memory of my first love

so i was like "when's the second anniversary of patrick's death?" today when i was walking back from the grocery store with my $4 joesixpack and two granny smith apples (i know how to live well on a budget), listening to katy perry's song "ur so gay".
duh it was like two weeks ago, when i was in virginia. i should have gone to his grave but i just didn't think about it because i'm a fucking flake who drove by the cemetery and blew him a kiss at least once a day (the street happens to be a shortcut to my house) until i wrecked my delilah again (my car's name). so before i post the lyrics to this song, rest in peace patrick i miss you every day.

(btw the inverted pentagram made out of the "o" in gibbon wasn't done by me, and to those who did it, touche)
now onto the rude part, which is that i listened to this song and of course it describes every douchebag at vassar, but it's also the kind of song that when p was alive i would have been like "p this is your song!" and he would have gotten all pissed about it. aw now i miss him more. yes it's also offensive that it refers to the way he died, but if you're reading this then it's pretty much certain that i know him better than you and it's my fucking prerogative. i could really go on and on but this is my entertainment blog and not a livejournal so i won't. so here you go, the lyrics, and a link to the song itself:

I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you’re so amused
That nobody understands you
I’m so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head
I’m so angry cause you’d rather MySpace instead
I can’t believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than…

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

You walk around like you’re oh so debonair
You pull ‘em down and there’s really nothing there
I wish you would just be real with me

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
Oh no no no no no no no
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like… PENIS

CONSUMED BY HEROES

sorry i haven't been blogging much, i've been watching the whole first season of heroes, and number two is on the way. it's the best thing i've ever seen and i'm in love with peter petrelli (milo ventimiglia, who is beautiful and and has the all important lanky dark hair and sideways smile). i need to return to it now bye.