lots of latenight shit

ok well obviously this was high-larious.
man, don't tell the friend who grew it, but the homegrown shit i just bought is just not that good.
the nameless fella is rather full of himself, in a lovely way (he is like my best friend), and so he thinks his stuff is much better than it is. i wish i knew more normal drug dealers. being friends with them is nice, but also soooo annoying.
anyway, the funny shit is the thursday night snl they've created. will ferrell as bush (god i hope he stops making the movies he's making) and tina fey as palin
haha i like the boondocks.
nigga moments, this is priceless. the best real life example i have is when that guy touched morgan's ass at that party and morgan freaked out "my cousins are big and black and they will kick your ass if you ever touch me again!". the guy told us to leave and i was like dragging her out. it was fucking hilarious.
o my god, guys i try to tell to go away try and get my number even harder! this is the new rule: you can give me your number, i won't give you mine. this kid invited me to smoke with him tomorrow and he was nice and not creepy so i think i'll do that (i have no shame when it comes to getting smoked out for free)
hmm, i wonder what i could get away with saying on this blog considering that no one reads it.
well... I NEED TO GET LAID! but i'm over compromising my integrity to do it.
ooo real time with bill maher!
"the liberals have always liked him, and the conservatives like the idea of having a black man clean up their mess"
ooo this entry has so much about race!
i think what can be gleaned is that i love black women... and obama.
and oliver stone!
btdubs have you bitches watched amy poehler's palin rap yet??? YOU BETTER!
man i made a KILLING on tips tonight
o my god why do the conservative guests even come on real time with bill maher?
anyway new thing, my new favorite "vote no on prop 8" commercial, with itzak perlman, talking about one of his children, who is a gay woman, and the whole family would obviously like her union with her wife to be recognized by the state. check it out

the night we saved babycakes

are you ready for this shit?
well i just got off work at juliet's, it's 3:43 am
we smelled gas (or those of us who could smell smelled it), and the people from the county came out and stayed for like two hours while sofia and i chatted and listened to the "rat pack" satellite radio station
a couple of our pilot lights are out on the stove, it's ok
but! BABYCAKES WAS FULL OF GAS!
WE SAVED ITS LIFE!
ok i guess that's all i had to say.
come see me there tomorrow night bitches

WATCH THE NEW WATCHMEN TRAILER

fuck yes! there isn't much more, and i heard a nasty rumor that snyder has changed the ending of my pet adaptation... but oh well it's the WATCHMEN MOVIE WHO CARES.

dean koontz and the new bong fund

ok dean koontz just did a creepy monotone commercial with a dog, (i initially typed god heehee) about how his new book is about the relationship between man and doggie. i HATE this new crap about there being commercials for books. ok i'm going to work out a budget that allows all my income from juliet's (a very fun job except for the creepy dudes who try to ask me out. why can't it be the cute ones?) to go to the new bong fund. by the way, only a roor will do. and it'll be roor number three (shhhh), and three is my lucky number so hopefully our love will last a lifetime. my allowance will need to go to paying back a couple of folks and the essential three b's (booze, bud and... we'll just say bread), but other than that, NEW BONG FUND HERE WE COME!

i'll accept donations, by the way. it's for a good cause.
hmm actually i thought the new roor would be over $200 but it seems it's only going to be like $120 this may be doable tomorrow, or at least after i get paid on friday. let me figure this shit out hold on.
UPDATE: if i hadn't gotten the ten dollar pasta with meat sauce at work (which i obviously left there like a dumbass) then i would have enough. I'll have to wait til friday or til morgan pays me back. meh.

heroing

i just talked about the longevity of my bong earlier tonight without knocking on wood, citing my carpet as the reason
i just reached for my water glass and knocked the bong upside down against the table and futon
the same part as the last roor broke
it broke a little piece of my heart
the pieces of my heart group started my awareness, but things that happen to you and that you do really do take away a piece of you
i will never be as full as i once was
i have been assaultingly nostalgic for a certain time in my life
blogging high and late is never a good idea.
i will leave you with something relevant to what this blog is supposed to be
i had a dream last night that i was a HERO! the problem is when i can do cool things in dreams they only work part of the time. my power was that i could fuck with machines. not like micah sanders, he can talk to machines, but i could fuck them up, like make them not work, by making a fist really hard and fast and focusing
i was also pursuing stephen colbert, who had been my high school teacher, and i wanted to bone him, clearly
it was interesting.

my new favorite thing ever!

i would take this record to bed and sleep with it.
haven't you heard? THE BIRD IS THE WORD!
(this is a song featured on a great new family guy episode as peter's favorite song. it's actually amazing)

truth.

yes. the most amazing thing ever done on snl. poehler does the palin rap while palin grooves along.