dreams

so i slept for forever last night and had the craziest dreams
i was staying in my house from growing up, which had the same front door as my house now. i'm pretty sure i was hanging out with natalie and becky. i had three dogs, a yorkie, a scottie and hiro. there was a white doggy that i also ended up taking in. i started getting phone calls from stephen colbert because he had decided he was in love with me, but then i found out that it was part of a nationwide prank, somehow he'd done the same thing with hundreds of people. there was a huge war going on in the snow, maybe it had a little to do with reading twilight (finished it today. it grew on me and i'm going to start new moon tonight), and i was helping to hide people, send them out to fight, and to ready the dogs. of course this took place at the resort hotel i keep staying at in my dreams. my little sister gave me yay so good that i could barely walk. there was some element of travel over water, and my car not working well as i headed to new york city, the site of the apocalypse. i may have superpowers. but i have no power to resist world of warcraft comercials. anyway tonight i watched the new heroes and maybe got my friends into it? then we all just read our various twilight books together, it was very fun. now it's time for metalocalypse!

yo ho ho and a bottle of 1987 champagne

ok there are a lot of things i need to write about
the first thing is this clip from the soup of two little boys mooing on the bonnie hunt showi searched google for this shit and it asks me "did you mean little boys mooning?"
for once, the answer was no
i just tried this line out on my friends and they didn't instantly react.
we're all kinda high and drunk and watching the soup
anyway the boys moo at each other, slowly locking eyes and beginning a slow smile, and i believe we witnessed the moment that the pair of them fell in love.
anyway apparently this clip is not online yet
so i'm obviously down in the va
we watched i love money
then curb your enthusiasm, one of my favorite episodes, "the smoking jacket"
ok i'm feeling inspired to be more jewish and i am craving charoset and fucking LATKES!
i'm like the jewish dlisted
i wish
anyway this is the hilarious curb where rob corddry plays the sex offender who comes to seder, which is part of the passover desire
it is emily's 21st in just a bit, and we will make it fun!
ok i need to end this post because i am too goooooooood to do otherwise

toby and jacob go to a big drunk concert

so as the title suggests my good friend jacob and i went to the soco music experience concert this weekend
we got there in the afternoon, i was afraid he wasn't going to be able to get in due to his fake id
it was actually super easy, and we soon decided we needed to get much more drunk for this experience
we got some vodka at the store (of course i got a hard time because my id has me pissed off as shit after 24 hours awake and 3 at the dmv... and o yeah, with long blonde hair) and drank it very quick in the parking lot
then they sold us beer at the show for like $5 a cup, which i of course decided to steal from people we didn't know because yeah right, we are college/high school students with no fucking money and theft is hilarious when it happens to people you don't know
there was a fun ska band, one band who we met the lead singer of (i think he thought we both were cute. i understand) and then finally justice came on
(i had to explain to my friend adam who the jonas brothers were today, and i told him that justice looked like him with more facial hair, and the other looked like the sexy jonas brother. apparently morgan and i have different opinions on who the sexy jonas brother is. i think it's the older one who's dating taylor swift, and morgan thinks it's nick jonas, who is a teenager. who's the sex criminal now???)
they were a ton of fun and we danced like crazy.
we also lost my car key.
so jacob and i were the last people to leave the concert at around 1:30 am. triple a drove us home finally and dropped my car outside. this was fucking horrible though. have you ever lost your keys two hours from home? better hope you're a aaa advance member! they will tow your ass 100 miles!
anyway it's a tuesday, no class til 3 pm tomorrow.
hey, apparently the one i like is JOE JONAS. and perez likes him too. ok he's 19 so he is a teenager but MORGAN LIKES THE YOUNGER ONE!
ahhh tuesday night margaritas during 90210. what a fun time.
if i cared about my audience i'd stop now...
but i don't!
ok my presence was just requested in virginia.
i have to do it folks!
it's emily's 21st birthday!!!
i can give up some weekend at vassar for natalie and emily, and i shall.

a hot lesbian date

so emily's restaurant couldn't seat us for like half an hour.

i don't know if anyone is familiar with how much i hate waiting for shit at restaurants, but i fucking hate restaurants

so natalie and i bounced to this lovely thai place called "rabieng"

we got a couple of looks, and then, when we ordered, they had me order for us

apparently, it was date night at the restaurant and if one ordered $30 worth of food (pretty fucking easy) the couple of ya would get a free bottle of wine
so i ordered the wine, and when it came the waiter showed it to me, i nodded, he poured a little in my glass for me to taste, i nodded again, and they poured a whole glass for natalie and then me.
then he brought the check to me!
now it's not the fact that he thought we were a gay couple that makes this story hilarious, although at a distance people often mistake me and natalie for each other (she's the full color version and i'm the black and white)
it's the fact that he assumed that we had a bitch and a butch in our relationship, and the fact that if we were in a relationship we might take these roles
but it's pretty interesting to assume that a pair of lesbians have male and female roles in their relationship, and it would in fact piss off most lesbians i know
but kudos to the thai restaurant for being so forward thinking, the thai's craziest thing is the abundance of ladymen back in the home country

now we're screaming!!!

pineapple express on reelcomedy on comedy central

this is worth watching. i'm trying to find it online, hopefully i'll have it for ya for tomorrow when two titans of fabulous womanhood interface. yes. my friend morgan is finally coming down to meet my friend natalie! yay.

dictionary joint!

so we smoked a joint made out of dictionary paper
i wouldn't recommend it
i told you i was dieting so i didn't go with the kids to wendys but man i got some good stories tonight, i will reward you with them when i finish my teleplay for the high school series i am writing oooo so carefully.
we used the page that has "toby" and lots of other shit on it

natalie went to lollapalooza

i hear it was a good time (i was too concerned with finding a fucking job to partake)
and my darling dear got this live radiohead! check it out before the man takes this shit down

after months of waiting for pineapple (i hear it makes pussy taste better)

natalie and i are getting baked and seeing this shit TODAY!